Friday Night Longings
by Cypher DS
Summary: Single mother Kyanna is ready to start dating again. Feeling bold, she approaches Beli with a question that will change their relationship forever. Can the gentle yoga teacher navigate her feelings in time to save the friendship she's built with Kyanna? [Chapter III of the Yoga Girls story]
1. The Question

**Friday Night Longings**

 **by Cypher DS**

 **o**

Watching Kyanna play with her son never fails to brighten Beli's day. It's always a puzzle to decide which of the two is having more fun – the little boy on his make-believe adventures, or the doting mother who gets to dream them all up.

"Whoosh! Here comes Spaceman Phily, blasting off on the rocket ship Mommy!"

With a squeal and a giggle, Kyanna hoists her one-year old into the air, spinning him around the living room while she supplies the outer space sound effects. Philip _whooshes_ around the coffee table, he _vroom-vrooms_ over the boxy TV, and from her vantage point on the couch, Beli smiles fondly.

" _Vrrrrm!_ Watch out, Phily! We're coming in for a landing on planet Beli!"

Oh, that's her cue to get ready! Following carefully as Kyanna plots her return course to the couch, Beli holds her arms out, ready to receive. Scooping Philip under the shoulders and sitting him on her lap, Beli gives her own cutesy cheer as she bounces the happy toddler on her knee.

"Whoo! Auntie Beli's gotcha! Yes she does! Whoa, look at you wriggle!" When she plops him on his back and dives in for a tummy nuzzle, Philip's happy laughter soars into overdrive. A wistful sigh makes her glance up: Kyanna, standing back and admiring the portrait of Phily and his 'auntie', a proud smile adorning her face.

"You've really gotten comfy with Philip," the Latina comments later, when her boy is back in her arms and greedily feeding from his bottle. "Remember that first time I had you over? You took one look at this little bugaboo and you freaked like I'd dropped a cockroach in your lap!"

"And you made me sit with him while you ran off to the bathroom! I could hear you taking pictures, by the way." Trying to get her all flustered, honestly! "And anyway, I didn't grow up looking after little brothers like you did; I was scared I'd drop him or make him cry."

"But look at you now," Kyanna counters. "You can bottle feed and he won't squirm, you can change a diaper without gagging, and he just loves listening to you for story time! You've come a long way, Beli Lapran."

"Oh, I don't know …" Beli's instinct is always to wave off any undue praise, but Kyanna's words get her thinking about the past year, and how much she really has grown. How much closer she's become to her new friend and her family.

She's been welcomed to backyard barbecues, been declared _familia_ by Kyanna's rowdy brothers. She's been christened 'Ba-wi' in Philip's baby-speak, her appearances always greeted with excited eyes and grasping hands. Then there's Kyanna herself – her newest friend, but easily her best friend. Whether they're out on the town for a grand adventure, or just watching TV in their sweatpants, there's a beautiful feeling of being at complete ease, like she could close her eyes, fall back and trust Kyanna to catch her every time.

 _Trust. Comfort._ Terms she's struggled to apply to even the longest lasting of her boyfriends, but with Kyanna, they fit so naturally. _She's like no one I've met before._

As for Kyanna's question, Beli settles for a compromise. "I guess I am getting pretty used to Phily, but it's all because he's got a wonderful _madre_ who's shown me just what to do."

The Latina puffs up with a know-it-all grin, pleased that she's won another argument. "Y'know, you'd make a pretty cool mom yourself, Bels."

Did she say Kyanna put her at 'complete ease'? Because now her cheeks are burning with embarrassment, and she's hiding her face in her palms while her friend howls at her reaction. Must she bring up her relationships and her sorry, shameful 'single' status? "You're always teasing me like that!" Beli whines.

"You're always so fun to poke at," Kyanna fires back.

"You're mean! Besides, how could I even start thinking about kids? First I'd have to find a boyfriend who's a keeper, I'd have to date him long enough for us to get married, and then we'd have to settle down and find a proper house in a good neighbourhood. It's so much stress!"

"Or you could start dating someone who already has a kid," Kyanna points out.

"But everyone I know is single and childless," Beli laments, and then she gives a playful smirk. "I guess I'd have to start dating you."

Beli laughs at the idea. Kyanna doesn't. The Latina just stares at her, smiling as if to say _'and?'_

Oh, it's moments like these she could just slap herself upside the head.

"I – I mean, hypothetically speaking, of course!" But the more Beli flails about trying to salvage the conversation, the deeper she sinks into her messy little pit of nerves. The only course of action is to go full-stop and wring her hands as she stares awkwardly into her lap.

Kyanna winces in sympathy, she chuckles a little to try and recapture the moment, but even her laughter is tempered with unease. There's a long pause as they both look away.

Then -

"Hey Bels, whatcha doing this Friday?"

Beli swallows, not really sure where this is going. "N-no plans really." Why does that admission make Kyanna's eyes sparkle?

"You're sure? Because I don't want to put you out if you've got something lined up." Kyanna shifts Philip over her shoulder to burp him, and her hand taps a steady rhythm against the infant's back. Beli's timid, rabbit heart is racing at that same nervous tempo.

"I mean –" What _did_ she have planned? Indulging in a gooey, bacon double-cheeseburger after work? Treating herself to a bubble bath and re-reading one of her well-worn romance novels? (Maybe even skipping to one of the steamy scenes she's dog-eared and letting her fingers wander?) Does she value any of that more than what she thinks Kyanna is proposing?

"No," she declares firmly. "No, Kyanna I don't have any plans so … I'm all yours!"

"Sweet! Cause I've got a hot date lined up, and I need someone to watch Phily. Think you can pitch in?"

A deep belch from Philip pierces the moment. "Uh oh, I think some-body made a stinky-poo," Kyanna sing-songs. Beli's mind is reeling.

"Wait, slow down. A date?" Kyanna hasn't been seeing anyone since … well, since before Philip was born!

"A date..." She has to say it twice to let the reality sink in. "That's … exciting." She smiles. Yes, a smile was the called-for expression. This is a good thing, isn't it? "Yes, that's exciting. I'm … excited for you, Kyanna! So who's this lucky guy you've met? You have to tell me all about him!"

"Um, yeah … about that." Kyanna bites her lip. "Bels, you know I'm bi, right?"

"Oh..."

Is it the admission that makes her pause, or Kyanna's palm touching her leg for assurance? "Oh, I mean … I had a feeling."

Those Spanish growls whenever a particularly busty jogger bounced her way through the park's walking trails. How Kyanna's phone background transitioned through a slideshow of shirtless Latin men _and_ shapely, Hispanic swimsuit models. That one night Kyanna drank a little too deeply from the tequila bottle above her fridge and started reciting her 'hall pass' list: rugged names like Channing and Ryan mixed with saucy little numbers like Misty and Nadia.

Kyanna hadn't exactly been subtle with her bisexuality.

"Anyway, that's who I am," Kyanna affirms, puffing out her chest. "I'm down for the bros, I'm down for the hoes. You're … okay with that?"

 _What?_ "Oh, of course! I – I'm happy for you. I mean, you're lucky, really: there's twice as many people for you to meet and spend time with, men _and_ women."

"Well, with women it was mostly just screwing around and stuff. I was only ever serious with guys … and Dario." Kyanna's mind retreats to a dark place. "But, there's this girl I met and I kinda want to give it a proper shot."

"I see. So, um, who is this special woman? Someone from class or the fitness center?" Beli doesn't want to make assumptions, but it's probably Samantha. Not that she means to judge, but that buzzed haircut and those hiking boots practically scream 'butch and proud'.

"Nah, no one you know. It's this Asian chick who came to the salon yesterday, and _a huevo_ , was she something else!" Beli's fluttering eyes urge her onward, so Kyanna leans forward with her gossip.

"Okay, you know how they say some people have a foot fetish? Well, this woman, I think she had a _hair_ _fetish_ , because every time I go to comb her hair, she starts moaning – _ohh, unhhh –_ and rolling her head like I'm giving her a naked, full-body massage. Seriously, dude, it was intense! I thought my manager was going to ask her to leave for being obscene…"

Beli wrinkles her nose, recalling the time that mouth-breathing man in the trenchcoat had started hanging around the fitness center. "Kyanna, she sounds like a pervert."

"Nah, she's totally chill. You'd like her! I got to talking with her: she's into painting, she does her own gardening, and – get this – she's a teacher at the university! Shit, do you know how much they pay the staff there?"

 _Not nearly enough,_ Beli thinks, recalling the complaints of her own friend on the University of Glenberry staff. _I wonder if she and Aiko know each other?_

"Anyway, after I finished up her hair, she hands over this freakin' huge tip, and then she grabs one of our business cards at the front desk and she scribbles down her number, telling me, ' _I'm not waiting 'til my next cut to see you again.'_ Then she straight up asks me out for this Friday!" Kyanna's eyes go wide and pleading. "My regular sitter bailed on me, and my mom's busy with friends. Please, Bels? Please, please, please?"

 _I could say 'no',_ she thinks _. I could end this all before it ever begins._ It's a wicked thought, and strangely tempting. It only flirts through her mind for a nanosecond, but Beli suffers its guilt it like a permanent scar.

"Of… course. I mean, absolutely. Yes, absolutely, I could watch Philip."

Kyanna lets out a victory whoop. "Sweet! Aw, Bels, you're the best! I'm so pumped! I gotta text Miss Yumi and let her know!"

Beli's sudden cry startles Philip from his nap. "Miss _WHAT?_ "

"Bels, relax. Yoo-mee. It's her last name. I wasn't saying she was –"

"I know that," Beli fires back. Sweat is racing down her spine. "Kyanna, you said this woman works at the U of G, right?"

"Um, yeah." Kyanna blinks incoherently, not truly comprehending the situation she's landed herself in. "She teaches math and physics. Her name's Aiko."

* * *

Aiko.

Aiko Yumi.

Aiko Yumi – contract teacher at the U of G's mathematics department who jokes – and it must be a joke, right? – about how she upgrades failing test scores in exchange for oral sex in her office.

Aiko Yumi – semi-frequent student of her weekend yoga class who always shows up with alcohol on her breath and a lecherous hunger in her eye as she scans her fellow students. Beli never was too surprised by the Saturday attendance drop…

Aiko Yumi – introduced to her by Jessie Maye, an adult actress of some renown. "You two must be close," Beli once commented after noting the many lingering glances Aiko gave their mutual friend. She still remembers the insulted look Jessie leveled her as she set the record straight.

"Honey, I _never_ do the crazy ones."

Aiko Yumi, who can laugh gaily one minute as she watches porn on the café's public wi-fi, then break down and sob hysterically as she pleads for Beli to lend her "a quick fifty bucks" so she can make her latest student loan payment. Cash in bra, she's chipper as a chipmunk again and bragging about the different Tinder users she's burned through in her quest to "keep things interesting".

She remembers Aiko laughing about how she always wears a necktie to work in case she's hit with the urge to asphyxiate herself.

Beli never did figure out if that was a sex thing, or a suicide thing.

This is the woman who's asked Kyanna on a date.

This is the woman Kyanna is entrusting herself to.

A cold sweat leaves Beli bedridden with flu-like symptoms, and she apologizes profusely for cancelling her Tuesday classes.

* * *

She needs confirmation, so she calls Aiko for coffee. "So, any plans for this Friday?"

Aiko can barely contain her triumph. "Hell yeah! Got a killer-hot date lined up. Okay, get this: I go to the discount hair salon at the mall to save a couple bucks, and hot damn, their hairdressers are _stacked!_ I'm just a walk-in, so I get paired up with this Mexican chick who sits me down, smiles at me and … oh shit, it gets me wet just thinking … Beli, the way she went at me with those scissors – tugging and pulling till you feel it in your scalp. Fuuuck… I swear, it was like she was some sort of kinky, hair bondage dominatrix! And that top she was wearing! She had tits for days, Beli! I think she's even bigger than Jessie!"

"I see," Beli nods back, fighting to maintain her friendly smile.

"Anyway, I had a bit to drink beforehand, and I'm thinking to myself 'this is too good to pass up. Let's roll the dice and see how far we get.' Beli, I got a date set up right at the cashier's counter! I mean, damn, how desperate do you have to be to say 'yes' to some random stranger who shows up at your work? I swear, this girl is going to be the easiest lay ev- Whoa, you okay there, Beli?"

Beli's lap is stained with scalding coffee – the liquid forced from her crushed paper cup after her terrified palm seized up around it.

* * *

Every night that week, Beli meets with Kyanna after yoga class. Every night, Beli's heart sinks a little deeper as the conversation turns to Aiko and the fast-approaching Friday. Kyanna needs confirmation on her hair style, she needs outfits vetoed, and now it's Thursday evening and somehow it's escalated to the point where Kyanna's dragged her out to the mall to visit a lingerie boutique.

"I don't know why you need new underwear," Beli stammers. "I mean, it's not like she's going to see it."

"Confidence, Bels." It's something she thinks Kyanna has in spades already, strutting proudly into the store with Philip strapped to her back in a baby carrier. "This is my first date in forever and I wanna look fine all the way down to my skin. Make-up, clothes; everything has to scream 'steaming hot'. Now, whaddya think? Black 'n lacy or red 'n wild?"

Beli's barely managed to creep into the hot pink store with its provocative mannequins and its lurid pin-up models posing on floor-to-ceiling posters. _Looking_ at the brassieres that Kyanna is dangling in front of her chest is beyond her abilities.

"I think …" a long swallow. "Kyanna, I don't think you should be going out with Aiko!" There, she's said it! But now Kyanna is blinking at her sudden outburst. She needs to come clean.

"Kyanna, I never told you – and I'm sorry – but I know Aiko. She's another yoga student and a … friend, and, Kyanna, she's a good person. She means well, but … well, she's not the type of person you want to be in a relationship with. The thing is, she's –" _oh, where to begin? Loose? Deviant? Clinically depressed?_

"- she's not interested in you as a person."

Kyanna smiles patiently through her fumbling and stuttering, a silent saint compared to the fussing Philip. "And? Bels, I'm not an idiot. I know when someone wants to get inside my pants. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal? Kyanna, you're going to get yourself hurt! This is a mistake!"

"Maybe I _want_ to make a mistake, you ever think about that?" Even fussy little Philip shuts up and pays attention after that outburst.

"Bels, I'm twenty one. I'm single, I'm fit; I should be living the best years of my life – living it up like my Ex is – but I'm stuck looking after my kid, working a crappy job just so I can scrape by enough to afford diapers. You think I can still be an actress like this? That I can afford to go to school or make something of myself? Shit, I can't even afford to move apartments, never mind leave town. I can dream all I want, tell myself I'm going to make it big, but that's all I'll ever have!

"So just maybe – even if it's only for one night – maybe I want to be with someone who'll let me forget it all, someone I can let loose and go crazy with!"

She opens her mouth to protest, but Kyanna silences her.

"And she _asked me,_ Bels. It's a nice feeling, knowing someone wants you so badly they're ready to take a risk and go after you. Don't you think?"

Beli's heart is squirming under the pressure of a vice. Her courage is spent – exhausted on that one, triumphant outburst that her best friend has so thoroughly quashed. There's only one option left to her cowardly heart.

"I should go."

"Bels! Hey, wait!" Kyanna's hand is on her shoulder, pleading. "You'll be there for me? Tomorrow night?"

Beli doesn't turn around, but she nods obediently – the dutiful friend. "Yes. I'll be there for you."

* * *

Five minutes to seven o'clock. Five minutes to date night, and Beli is wringing her hands in Kyanna's tiny apartment, a nervous producer fretting before her big star's debut. Heels click and the bedroom door creaks open. "Okay, whaddya think?"

Kyanna is dressed like a wild cat on the prowl – tight, leopard-print leggings that clench her rear, and a matching, off-the-shoulder crop top that spills her generous cleavage like a fount. Her friend makes a sexy catwalk strut across the living room in her open-toed heels, proudly swishing a hand through her ebony locks so that the light catches her golden, lucky-charm earrings. She strikes final pose – smoldering eyes and 'come hither' lips at the ready as she brazenly stretches and shows off her curves.

"So, Bels? Am I ready to blow Aiko's mind?"

The display leaves Beli's throat dry, but she musters up the resolve for one small, hoarse whisper. "You're beautiful, Kyanna."

And suddenly Kyanna's lost her newfound swagger, ducking her head sheepishly and averting her eyes. "Hey, about yesterday… I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I'm sorry. I know you're just looking out for me, and that means a lot."

Beli takes in the apology. She can't smile just yet, but she nods understandingly. "I guess I didn't realize what you really wanted."

Kyanna gives a bitter laugh. "What I wanted… Oh Beli, I just –" she's ready to say more, but Philip interrupts from the living room crib, and her motherly instincts compel Kyanna to soothe her baby. "Ssh, it's all right, little guy. You remember what we talked about, right?"

"Mama! Mama fee-sta?"

"That's right! Your mama's going out to a big _fiesta_ with her special friend. Her _other_ special friend," she clarifies, when the boy's eyes dart to Beli. Kyanna gives her a sigh and a shrug.

"He's been fussing like this all day, watching me get ready. I dunno, Bels, I hate to leave him with you when he's like this. Whaddya think?"

Again, deferring to her – granting her the final decision. Why? Why does someone as bold and confident as Kyanna need the reassurance of a timid mouse?

"I think …" Beli swallows carefully as she chooses her words. She steps once towards Kyanna, then again, and the hairdresser's eyes tremble with a glassy light as she approaches, as Beli's hands reach out to her.

But her hands divert to Philip, scooping this last burden from Kyanna's arms. Beli's smile is as artificial as the gold in Kyanna's earrings, but she forces herself to shine brightly all the same. "I think you should go out and have a good time."

The doorbell rings, and the argument is settled. Kyanna turns away, dabs something from her eyes, then spins wildly – refreshed and radiant and ready to greet her date. "Coming!"

She opens the door, and there stands Aiko, propped up like a pin-up model with one hand gripping either side of the doorframe, like she can barely restrain herself from lunging into the apartment.

Beli's eyes fire up in alarm at her attire – a black and form-fitting cocktail dress that shines glossy against the lights. _Leather?_ A strip of criss-crossing laces runs up Aiko's thigh to under her shoulder, heightening the feeling that she's baring all. She's not wearing a bra as far as Beli can tell, but her dress squeezes her cleavage up and outward like an offered platter. With her hair pulled into tight bun and x-shaped chopsticks framing her head like the crossbones on a skull, Aiko is the embodiment of sexy, thrilling danger. The teacher takes one look at Kyanna and immediately growls.

"Fuck, yeah! You are rocking the cheetah print, Mama." Her flirtations send Kyanna fawning.

"Aw, thanks. I like your choker. Super cute, Aiko!"

The teacher's fingers drift across the collar of black beads encircling her neck. "Mm, this old thing? I like to wear it on all my first dates. Makes me feel lucky. That, and it feels _so good_ having something tight around my neck."

"Well I think it looks super sexy. And who knows? Maybe tonight'll be your lucky night."

As if to explore just how good it truly feels, Kyanna steps forward and trails her fingers from the side of Aiko's collar to the base of her throat. It's only a small touch, but Aiko tilts her head back and shudders happily, while her fingers dig blissfully into the door frame. A side glance into the apartment quickly kills the moment.

"Beli? Oh hey, what're you doing -?"

"Beli's my babysitter," Kyanna chimes in. "I mean, she's not _my_ sitter. I'm watching my sister's kid for the weekend and Beli stepped in to pinch hit while we have our date night? Right, Bels?"

She offers a quick nod, accepting her role in the lie. It works, and Aiko laughs.

"Wait, you blew off your sister's kid to go out with me? Fuck, I'm gonna have to show you a good time tonight."

"A _good_ time? _Bella,_ I'm not settling for anything less than magic!"

Their flirtations are so natural, Beli thinks, like trained dancers who instantly know how to lead and follow, to give and take. The conversation never derails because Aiko's become too embarrassed or awkward. The way their eyes dart hungrily over each other's bodies, the way they make each other laugh so easily. _It's like they're meant for each other,_ and now Kyanna is closing the gap between them, sashaying out onto the landing and hooking her arm around Aiko's.

"So, where's my _Mami_ taking me tonight?"

"Some place I can get a proper look at that ass," Aiko growls. Beli flinches as the teacher's palm slaps her friend across her backside. "Buut, I am kinda starving, and I gotta go all out for a girl like you. Dinner and drinks?"

"Throw in some dancing and you're on!" Kyanna declares, totally unfazed by the rough touch. If anything, Beli thinks, it's only amped up the tension flickering between the two. Like a live wire over gasoline, the smallest spark threatens to set them off. Beli coughs to make herself known.

"Um, Kyanna, you'll text me when you're on your way home, right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Sure thing, Bels." She doesn't even meet her eye to respond.

"Well, um, have fun, then." She holds up Philip's wrist, makes him wave goodbye, but Kyanna's back is already turned. Aiko's arm slithers around Kyanna's waist with a possessive grip, and she flashes an animal grin that makes Beli's heart lurch.

"Oh, we're going to have so much fun."

* * *

Beli locks the door behind her, slumps against the wall and tries to take it all in.

She's never been alone in Kyanna's apartment before, and only now does it strike her just how small the room is with the door closed. _Like a cell_ , she remarks. Can she really blame Kyanna for desiring to escape?

"Well, Phily, I guess it's just the two of us."

The babe immediately begins squirming in her arms and flailing his little fingers at the door. "Mama! Wan' Mama!"

"Ssh, now," Beli hushes as she rocks him in her arms. "You want your mama, I know. We have to stay here, though."

But the boy is determined: squirming, kicking and finally erupting into a full-blown tantrum that sends the neighbours pounding on their shared wall. Beli winces and does her best to soothe Philip, all the while feeling awful for silencing the boy's natural desire.

"You're such a brave boy, Phily. You know exactly what you want, and you won't take 'no' for an answer. You don't care how big a fuss you make or what other people think of you. Such a brave boy." She swallows a lump.

"Don't you ever grow up like me, okay? Don't ever forget how to say what you want..."

* * *

Philip eventually cries himself to sleep. Tucked safely in his crib, Beli feels the loneliness more acutely than ever.

Philip's crib is in the living room, so she can't exactly watch TV. She's brought a book – a trashy one from her romance collection – but flipping through the pages only makes her feel sick. She starts puttering nervously – tidying stacks, sorting drawers. Her one constant activity is checking the clock, and that does nothing to soothe her anxiety.

 _Eight o'clock… nine o'clock … How long does it take to eat a meal and maybe go dancing?_

She follows the clock tick round and round, and every hour winds her insides tighter and tighter. Her stomach compresses like a spring. How far she'll go until she's crushed, she can't say, but every moment is more unbearable than the last.

It's past ten o'clock when her cell phone finally chimes – Kyanna's ring tone! – and Beli launches herself at the machine, more eager for the news of her friend's return than she is for a fresh gulp of air. She flies through her text messages, fingers taught and shaking, her heart desperate for release and relief. _Kyanna's coming back!_ Her friend is coming back. They can get past this silly date and get back to the way things were!

She scans the message, and her smile falters. The phone slips from her fingers. Slowly, numbly, all the gears and elastics holding her steady crumble away, and her body slumps to the floor alongside her brightly burning screen.

 _=Can you stay late? I'm going home with Aiko.=_


	2. The Fallout

A scrape and a scuffle at the front door nudges Beli from her fitful sleep. "Unh?" Her watch reads one AM, but it feels like she's only just fallen asleep on Kyanna's couch. Awareness filters in: The apartment is still and silent - only shadows in the dark - and there's someone in the hallway.

Someone in the hallway trying to force open the door!

Beli launches up with a gasp and throws herself between Philip's crib and the door. _A weapon!_ She can shelter Philip with her body, but she needs to put something between the stranger and herself!

Magazines on the coffee table are all her scrambling hands can find. By the time the intruder stumbles in through the door she's still helpless, so Beli seizes her smart phone and shines the torch on the invader and –

"Kyanna?"

"What the –? Bels?" Her friend grimaces and holds up a hand to block the blinding light. Beli breathes a sigh of relief.

"Oh, Kyanna, I was so worried you were –" but never mind that. Beli flicks on the corner-side lamp to greet her friend's return, and ends up gasping at the gruesome sight revealed.

"Kyanna? Wh-what happened to you?"

The Latina is a mess. Her hair is in tangles, there's mascara running down her cheeks and a stain that looks like vomit crusted down the front of her leopard-print top. She's a nightmare come to life. Kyanna ignores the question, ignores Beli altogether.

"Where's Phily? My baby - I need to see my baby."

There's an edge of panic in her one-track mother's mind and Beli backs far away as Kyanna storms over to the corner-side crib to scan her child.

Relief – sweet relief. Even after her noisy entrance, Philip is asleep and at peace. The tension rolls off Kyanna's shoulders and, like a cat lowering its hackles, the mother seems to shrink several inches. With her adrenaline high cut, all that's left is a tired and ragged creature. Her forehead slumps to the upper bar of the crib.

"You're okay," she sobs. " _Gracias a Dio,_ you're okay."

Beli approaches cautiously, worried that any sudden movement might set off Kyanna's maternal rage again, but when she touches her hand to Kyanna's shoulder, the Latina slowly turns and sinks against Beli's chest.

"I'm such an idiot, Bels. Such an idiot…"

Seeing Kyanna so defeated and weak makes her want to tremble, but for her friend's sake, Beli steels her nerves. She guides Kyanna to the kitchen - to keep her wracking sobs from waking Philip, and so she can soothe this distress with a cup of warm tea.

Kyanna has other beverages in mind. When Beli leaves her side to shut the bead curtains to the living room, the single mother reaches on tiptoes and snatches the tequila from to topmost cupboard.

Beli watches nervously as Kyanna tilts her head back in a deep swig.

"Kyanna, talk to me. What on Earth happened to you?"

"Oh, this?" the Latina scoffs as she gestures to the foul-smelling crust on her top. "Just a little going away gift from Aiko. Bitch was chasing after me in the parking lot, trying to apologize for everything and, well – the fresh air didn't do her gut any good."

Kyanna takes another self-medicating swig. Beli waits and listens.

"Aiko took me to the casino. It started off cool - they had a buffet and a live band playing. We had a couple drinks, we got up and danced, and I seriously convinced myself that this was going to be the perfect evening. That's when she puts her arms around my shoulders, leans up to my ear all nice 'n slow and whispers a naughty little idea: ' _let's check out the tables.'"_

A loathing grimace.

"Well fuck, we get onto the casino floor, and suddenly she's a totally different person. It's like she's one of those mall brats who can't put down their phones – the roulette wheels and the craps tables have her hypnotized, and I had to physically shake her so she'd snap outta it and stop laying down her money! And if that's not shitty enough, all the while she's _still_ calling the servers for drinks! I had two, Bels – _two,_ and I was already feeling tipsy, but Aiko keeps pounding them back like she thinks another rum and coke is going to win her the next jackpot! It was so embarrassing!"

Beli winces sympathetically. She's taken a mug from the cupboard, and now she puts it forward so Kyanna can pour her a drink. Not that she's planning to join Kyanna for a round; she just wants to limit the alcohol her friend can slosh into her own stomach.

"I should've walked away right there, Bels, but I was still telling myself I could salvage something from this night. So I pull my shirt down a bit; start giving her the baby-doll eyes and saying we should go somewhere quieter, and she seems to take the hint. So what does she do? Bels, she drags me into the women's washroom and tries to get all handsy with me! The place stinks to high-hell, her breath's reeking from all the booze, and she's pulling my hands up around her neck and begging me to choke her! ' _Really make me feel it, mami!'_ AndI'm like _, holy fuck, this is some messed up shit!"_

Kyanna drains the bottle and shudders. Beli bites her lip, knowing the worst is yet to come.

"So at that point I'm done. I push her off, give her the look and tell her it's time she takes me home. Oh, she liked that – it's like she gets high off of people pushing her around, but that's not the kicker. Bels, she's settling our tab for the buffet and her credit card is declined! She hasn't paid her frickin' bills in two months and her card's been cut off! I had to shell out of my own purse to pay for us both – _including_ all of her god-damn drinks!

"I just wanted to go home, Bels. I was marching for the bus stop – I didn't want anything more to do with Aiko, but she's tripping over her heels trying to catch up and tell me how sorry she is, how she's gonna make it up next time. I spin around to give her a piece of my mind and suddenly she … well, you know."

Kyanna gestures to the crusted puke on her outfit. Beli can piece the rest together herself.

"So when you texted me, when you said you were going home with her -"

"Bels, she was moaning on the ground and sobbing like her stomach was about to burst. I didn't have the heart to just leave her there. So I carry her to her car, throw her in the back seat and drive her home. I lug her through the door – goddamn pig sty, by the way – find her a Tylenol and slam the door. That's when I remember she's on the other side of town, and I've got no wheels. Had to transfer three buses and walk twenty minutes in my heels just to get back here."

Kyanna tosses her arms out as if to say, 'here I am'. Messy, filthy, tired and humiliated, and it tears at Beli's heart to see her friend reduced to this.

"Kyanna…"

"I had this coming, you know."

The Latina's eyes are downcast, a loathing edge cutting her voice.

"I just wanted to forget everything – my bills, my job, my baby – I just wanted to go crazy like the good old days, the way it was with Dario. Course, I forgot how much of a shithead _he_ was: what a fantastic job he did handling our money, how fucked-up he got when he started drinking."

She looks up, gives a single laugh of utter defeat.

"You were right about everything, Beli. Aiko was a train wreck, and I had the shittiest night ever. I'm such a joke."

Beli doesn't hesitate a second. She throws her arms around Kyanna and pulls the younger woman against her in a tight and reassuring hug. She can't take back all the hurt, but she can stem the flow, be her tourniquet and hold her dearly.

"I'm so, so sorry, Kyanna. You don't deserve this. You don't ever deserve this."

The sudden embrace leaves Kyanna's arms stiff at her sides, but gradually Beli feels the grip returned – trembling hands inching cautiously up her back with all the uncertainty of a kicked puppy. When Beli gives her a squeeze – a nod of assurance – Kyanna immediately clings to her shoulders, breathing deeply and huddling greedily to the offered warmth.

"It's over now, Kyanna. I've got you, and I'm here for you."

For Beli, it doesn't matter that the front of her sari is being dirtied in god-knows-what, or that Kyanna's tears are staining her shoulder. She's where she needs to be. She's by Kyanna's side.

It's only when Kyanna raises her head and looks at her with needy, tear-stained eyes that she realizes how close they stand. How warm Kyanna's body feels against her own. How fiercely the drumbeat of that Latin heart throbs against her breast.

"Um, Kyanna –"

"Shh. Don't talk, Bels. Just –"

Her words trail away, but Kyanna's trembling mouth remains open in an unspoken plea. The tequila is gone, but her lips are still dry and desperate for comfort.

A tear runs down Kyanna's closed eyelids as she leans forward.

Beli jerks her head back, breaking their embrace.

And the hurt splintering through Kyanna's eyes is a thousand times worse than any humiliation Aiko delivered that night.

"You must be so happy right about now," she glares, "to see me taken down a notch, to see me dragged through the mud."

"No! Kyanna, I –"

"Save it." Kyanna's words lash her into silence. "You need to leave."

"Kyanna, I'm not leaving yo-"

"Just stop." Kyanna turns away, her voice choking through a wretched sob. "Don't make me beg, Bels. I just want it to be over."

* * *

Beli does as she's told, and makes her way somberly down the stairwell of Kyanna's apartment. Her thoughts churn in a dull tempest.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't breathing easier after hearing the story of Kyanna and Aiko's instantaneous falling apart. Seeing them flirt and laugh so naturally had sent a terrible ache through her chest. _But how can I be happy with this?_ She'd prayed for some miraculous intervention to fling them apart, but she never intended the heavenly bolt to strike Kyanna as well.

 _I'm a terrible person_. The thought haunts her over the weekend and into the new week.

Starting Monday, Kyanna doesn't show up for yoga classes. She hears from some of the students that the hairdresser's booked herself for extra hours at the salon.

Aiko is equally absent from her social scene. Over the phone, Jessie clucks her tongue and mentions something about the professor cashing in a long line of sick days. "Working off the mother of all hangovers," the adult actress explains.

That's fine. She's not terribly eager to see her Asian friend either.

All week her thumb hovers over her phone, searching for the will to call Kyanna's number. Every time Beli finds the courage to touch the screen, her mind fills with the memory of her friend's wounded eyes – of the hands that held her so desperately, and the lips that reached out for her comfort.

Every time, Beli startles and she pushes the phone away, reaching instead for another glass of wine to banish the haunting image.

 _I'm a coward,_ she reminds herself, _and Kyanna doesn't need someone like me._ A spectator on the sidelines of life, unfit and unworthy to even be a friend.

For half a week, Beli kicks herself over self-pitying sips of wine. Monday night, Tuesday night, Wednesday night.

On Thursday morning, Beli wakes with a splitting headache, and as she throws her bedroom curtains open, a new memory pierces her mind with the sunlight, radiant and and agonizing in its clarity:

Kyanna, gazing fondly from across the room as her best friend plays her son, a look of trust and adoration towards the woman she's invited into her home, into her life.

And Beli knows right then that there's nothing she wouldn't do to see that smile again.

She pours the rest of her wine down the sink.

She showers herself clean, throws on fresh clothes and she thumbs through her phone contacts.

She has to make this right, and there's work to be done.

* * *

Beli forces her back to stand tall as she strides to the salon's front counter. With no customer to keep her busy, Kyanna sits cross-legged in her chair, face lowered into a magazine. A glance up, and her eyes startle and connect.

"Hello, Kyanna."

Her friend is alarmed for only a second before collecting herself into a terse neutral.

"Hey, Bels. Guess you're here for a haircut?"

"And to see you."

No reaction. "Well, have a seat."

Beli complies, purse folded in her lap. Wordlessly, Kyanna rotates the chair into position and swishes a plastic covering around Beli's shoulders. Her skin tingles nervously when Kyanna's fingers tighten the Velcro clasp around her neck.

"I want it shortened."

"You sure?" Kyanna frowns as she runs a hand through the locks draping down Beli's neck. "You've been growing this out real nice."

"I want it back." A restart, she thinks. Back to what it was when I first met you.

"Well, okay..."

It's quiet work, only the steady snip of metal sheers and the spritz of Kyanna's spray bottle to fill the silence. The chatter of the other hairdressers fades into a dull and meaningless roar. In Beli's mind, it's only the two of them.

"You look tired, Kyanna."

"Extra shifts," her friend shrugs. She doesn't deny the dark bags hanging under her eyes, or the wilted ponytail drooping down her neck. There's not even a sparkle of golden earrings to cheer her face. "I'm good, though. I fill my hours, I pick up Phily from my mom's place; I go home and be a good mother."

"Carol at the gym's front desk says you cancelled your membership."

"Money's tight," Kyanna grunts, "and I can't keep thinking about myself all the time. It's how I keep getting into these messes, Bels."

They fall back into scissor-snip silence. Kyanna dries and styles her hair, the blanket is swept away, and then they're standing across the front counter while Kyanna rings up her bill.

It's now or never.

"Kyanna –"

"Beli, I –"

They stop, and Beli realizes that Kyanna's been struggling just as hard to unload her own burdensome thoughts.

"Kyanna, I -"

"No, me first." Kyanna's always been the more assertive one, and Beli sees that she's determined to have the first say. The Latina closes her eyes and prepares herself with a deep breath.

"Bels, I'm so, so sorry. For what I said to you last week, for trying to -" she trails off, brushing a finger across her guilty lips. "- to take advantage of you like that. My head was in a shitty place, I was drunk, and I shouldn't have tried to drag you into my mess."

Beli's about to reply when Kyanna seizes her hands.

"You're a super best friend, and I'm lucky to just be able to hang with someone like you. But you're straight - and I get that, and I'm not gonna push anything. We're friends, we're good that way, and I don't want that to change. Can you forgive me?"

"O-of course!" Beli's just a little flustered from the rapid-fire apology, and the warmth from Kyanna's hands surrounding her own isn't helping. "Of course I forgive you."

Pardon granted, Kyanna breaths a deep, relieving sigh. "Thank you. Thank you so much, Bels."

Then Kyanna steps back and throws on an eager smile. "Okay, so that was my soapbox rant. What were you gonna say, bestie?"

"Oh, I was just - I mean, I was going to ask -"

"C'mon, Bels!" Kyanna gives her shoulder a friendly squeeze and the close contact is _so_ not helping. "We're best friends; you can ask me anything!"

"I wanted – that is, I was wondering –"

"C'mon, girl! Just … shout it out!"

"Kyanna, will you go out with me tomorrow evening?"

After a half-minute of terrified eye-clenching, Beli peeks open a single lid. Kyanna's eyes are wide and dumbfound. The other hairdressers and their clients are equally stunned; she's pretty sure one of them just dropped her scissors, and Beli's cowardly little bunny rabbit heart races a mile a minute when she realizes that _yes,_ she did in fact _shout that out_.

But before she can curl up into a miserable little bundle of nerves, Kyanna's hand is around her wrist and she's whisked away to the employee locker room in the back.

"You wanna run that by me again?"

"Kyanna, I know we're just friends, and I still want to be friends, but ... when I watched you walk out that door with Aiko, it felt like I was losing you forever. That scared me. I don't want to feel that way again, Kyanna. So I want to go out with you."

The Latina rubs her head and mutters something in exasperated Spanish. "Bels, you don't have to do this just to make me feel better, okay?"

"I'm not!"

"Well, I'm not keen on being another straight girl's lesbian experiment."

"I'm – I'm not experimenting. And besides, you need a night out to have fun, and … I want to be there with you, so doesn't it make sense if we go out together?"

Beli stops herself. _Not like this_ , she scolds herself. _Strong words, just like I practiced._

"Kyanna, I want you to go out with me tomorrow." Her words come from the heart, but Kyanna still shakes her head.

"Bels, you're a sweetheart. You really are, but even if I said 'yes', there's no way I can snag a sitter in time to -"

"It's taken care of."

Kyanna raises an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"I mean, a sitter. I've taken care of that. That girl from campus, Tiffany? I … saw her phone number on your fridge and I booked her in advance this morning. She's coming to your apartment tomorrow night. She had to cancel a cheerleading practice, but I promised I'd pay extra if she could make it, so really, you have to come out."

Kyanna plants her hands on her hips and looks her over, eyes glinting with that overprotective, momma bear ferocity.

"You booked a sitter behind my back? You invited someone to go up to my apartment – up to my son - and barge in without telling me?"

Beli winces and gives a downcast nod. The whole date idea looks to be over before it even began.

Then Kyanna grins slyly.

"Beli Lapran, when did you get to be such a pushy bitch?"

"Huh?"

"Well I never met anyone who wanted a date so bad they offered to pay for my sitter. Not gonna take no for an answer, huh?"

"I – just thought I should plan ahead. I'm sorry."

"Pff! Don't be. I kinda like this new, bossy Beli. Makes me wanna see what else she's got hidden up her sari."

As if that isn't innuendo enough, Kyanna saunters up so close that Beli can count the lashes on those violet eyes and traces a teasing finger up and down the exposed skin of her arm. The touch sends Beli's heart working overtime.

"So, boss? Where you gonna take me for a good time tomorrow?"

Kyanna's mesmerizing smile makes it so tempting to spill everything, but Beli shakes the butterflies from her head.

"I-it's a surprise."

"Aw boo, that's no fun! You've at least got to give me a dress code. Otherwise, I might meet you at the door in my swimsuit."

"A swi-? Why would you wear that?"

"I dunno. Maybe 'cause I think you'd like it."

Kyanna flashes a hungry smile, and Beli's sure that her ears are steaming.

"Oh, it's not like that. I mean, dress nice, but nothing super fancy. Oh, and no heels. We'll be walking."

"Ooh, an evening stroll under the moonlight?"

"S-sort of. Oh, and dinner too, so don't fill up before."

"Buying me food? Oh Bels, you're checking off all the boxes now."

Beli has to cup her cheeks to hide the rosy, red glow. _This is flirting, right? Kyanna's flirting with me._ A strange sensation is spiraling up inside her chest, and it's one she wouldn't mind getting used to.

"So, I'll pick you up around six?"

"What if I want you sooner?" Again, Kyanna's intense stare sends Beli squirming and blushing, and she needs a moment to steady herself.

"Well... You'll just have to wait, missy."

"Mm, there's that spicy calzone again. Okay, I'll wait until six, Miss Lapran, but I'm expecting you to dazzle me, got that?"

Beli nods firmly. "I'll be worth the wait."

"Oh I know you are." Kyanna smiles again, and a shiver runs up Beli's spine as she leans over her ear and whispers, " _te veo mañana, belleza."_

Kyanna flashes her a parting wink, and then Beli's toddling off out the front entrance in a drunken wobble, still unable to process what just happened: Kyanna's forgiven her, they're friends again, and for the first time in her life, _she's_ asked someone out on a date! Not just any someone but another woman! A scandalous thrill rushes up her spine as she imagines the awed looks of her gym friends and yoga students. _Miss Lapran, how daring!_

 _I can do this,_ she thinks. It can't be that different from dating a guy, and she's had lots of successful relationsh-

Oh.

No, wait. She hasn't.

This isn't going to be some anonymous match made by a well-meaning friend, or a stranger foisted upon her by her nosy mother. This is a date with Kyanna, her most treasured and irreplaceable friend.

If she does anything the slightest bit awkward or off-putting, there's no slate to wipe clean, no easy phone number to block from her contacts. If this doesn't work out, there's no going back.

Dizzy beyond belief, Beli catches herself on the nearest wall as the weight of her decision bears down on her.

 _What have I gotten myself into?_


	3. The Response

Beli panics her way through the remainder of Thursday and wakes up Friday morning in an all-out nervous fret. She imagined that she could cut down her terrors in a single, decisive stroke – _"Kyanna, will you go out with me?"_ – but her fears merely splintered thousand-fold into a buzzing swarm of anxieties:

Kyanna craves excitement from her date night. Thrills, chills and flirty exchanges. How can she deliver that rush when she spends her off-hours reading novels and scrapbooking leaves?

Kyanna wants her partner to be daring – a rebel who'll take the lead and show her a night of wild, sensual escapades. Beli wracks with guilt every time she tosses recyclable plastics into the garbage! How can someone so spineless possibly thrill Kyanna?

Worst of all, Kyanna wants someone sexual. Beli replays her anxious squirming in the lingerie boutique, and the sight of Aiko's scandalous casino dress. Flipping through a closet of ankle-length dresses and conservative saris, Beli laughs at the thought that she could ever compete for Kyanna's desires.

She has to go shopping; she has to fix this right away! She has to fix _herself_ before she loses Kyanna at the front door.

* * *

When Beli announces herself that night with a trembling knock, it's the babysitter who answers, and the blonde girl rears back in surprise. "Miss Lapran?" she exclaims, and Beli feels a spark of pride at the unspoken query: _is that really you?_

No more modest saris, no more boring sandals. Her pointed toes peep from four-inch open stilettos, her legs are on full display in hip-hugging, low-riding skinny jeans, and her midriff, arms and cleavage are bared to the world thanks to her sleeveless crop top and its plunging V-neck. "I-I'll tell Kyanna you're here," Tiffany stammers, and Beli imagines the college girl retreating in shock, moved by her raw, sexual aura.

Now if only _she_ could actually move!

Beli prides herself on flexibility and balance, but in these high-heels she wobbles like she's walking on a circus tightrope. _And these jeans!_ The teenage clerk assured her they would make her bum look "super cute"; that she'd feel feminine and confident, but all she feels now is a lack of circulation. Her legs have been squeezed into sausage casings. A rusted tin man from Oz could move its knees more freely.

These aren't leggings, they're a corset for the lower body!

And the less said about this tissue-thin top, the better. _I didn't realize it would be so cold tonight,_ she winces as she rubs the goosebumps from her arms. _But if Kyanna likes it…_

"Bels?" The stunned voice breaks Beli from her reverie. _Kyanna!_

"Shut the front door. Bels, did you go buy jeggings for me?"

"Wha-?" She did pull off the tag, didn't she? "N-no, just something I found in the back of my closet." Beli strikes a pose, leaning on her hip, and her heels nearly topple from under her.

Against her over-the-top supermodel outfit, Kyanna is dressed simply and casually: a cotton top in a pattern of gray checkers and an equally humble knee-length skirt with sandals. Beli remembers this outfit from one of their first friendly outings – lunch at a sandwich shop. Their night together has barely begun and already Kyanna is signalling not to get her hopes up:

 _We were good as friends, weren't we?_

Meanwhile, Kyanna's eyes appraise the rest of her ensemble, no doubt catching her every wobble and shiver. "That top –?"

"Half-off sale," Beli explains. _As in, the store must have cut half of the fabric from an actual shirt to leave her with this napkin!_ " Just something to treat myself."

"The shoes too?"

"Oh, I bought them a while back, just never found a good time to wear them."

"And are you wearing lipstick?"

Beli shrinks like a child caught chewing gum in class. She's a counterfeit and Kyanna can see through her like wax paper. "It … looks okay?"

Kyanna's smile comes hesitantly.

"I mean, yeah, you're rockin' it, Bels but… you can move in those jeans, right?"

"Oh, just fine." _I only needed a clothes hanger to yank up my zipper._

"And you don't want to grab a sweater or something?"

"It's fine." Mimicking Aiko's come-hither eyes, she adds, "I'm feeling plenty hot right now."

"Well, okay, chica." Kyanna turns to blow a farewell kiss to her boy, then locks the door and puts on her best grin. "Okay, show me a good time, _belleza!"_

"Um, right! Off we go … on our date."

Despite her nervousness, those words fill Beli with giddy energy and she completely misses the first stair. A wobble, a cry, and she barely catches herself on the handrail.

"How about we take the elevator?" Kyanna suggests.

"Okay," Beli nods, her heart thudding. The question of how she'll bend her legs to sit inside her car sends her wincing. They haven't even left the front door and she can already feel this night falling apart.

She dreads what Kyanna will say about their destination…

* * *

"The carnival?"

Kyanna stares into the festival of lights and rides with a look of stunned disbelief, and Beli's certain she's screwed up. Then the Latina pumps her fist, jumping and hooting with glee.

"No way, you're taking me to the carnival? Rock on!"

Beli exhales. "I remember you saying -"

" _Pap_ _á_ always used to save up so he could take me and the boys here in the summer! Aw Bels, this is so sweet of you."

 _Sweet like a friend._ Desperate to correct course, Beli sticks out her chest and tries to purr in an Aiko-like flirtation. "No need to thank me. I know exactly what you want."

Big mistake. Kyanna's eyes twinkle as they call her bluff and ante her flirt back tenfold. "Ooh, but if you're such a mind-reader, then how come you're standing so far away from me, chica?"

Before Beli can fold, Kyanna trots into her personal space and coils herself around her bare arm. Beli's heart hammers as the Latina snuggles up against her side.

"Better hold me tight, or I might wander off."

She says it teasingly, but to Beli it's a dire warning – _You're on the clock. Keep me impressed, or else._

 _Thrills, excitement,_ Beli reminds herself. She eyes Kyanna's hip, mentally psyches herself to reach an arm around and –

A wolf-whistle from some passing boys - " _¿Necesitas una tercero, chicas?_ " - and her nerves shatter. Beli slides away until they're barely brushing fingertips. She can feel Kyanna's disappointment as acutely as she feels her own.

From there on in, the night is an absolute disaster.

* * *

They start off wandering through the game stalls – shooting galleries, tests of strength. A dollar to play and shelves full of plush animals to win. Kyanna stops them at one of the ring toss stands and fawns over the adorable, pink teddy bear on the top row. "Aww, isn't he cute, Bels? Wouldn't you just love having that guy at home?"

It's a call to action, and Beli fishes out a dollar to win Kyanna her heart's desire. Her first toss goes wide; so does the second and the third. "Want me to take a crack at it?" Kyanna offers.

"Just one more, I've got it." At least, she'd have a fighting chance if her stiff jeans and wobbly heels weren't throwing off her balance! The momentum from every toss threatens to toss _her_ feet off their spike-heeled pedestals.

Twenty dollars later, even the carney can't stand to see her humiliation continue. "Everyone's a winner," the tattooed man declares, and Beli is left staring at a dinky, plastic keychain with a smiling, cartoonish broccoli floret. Kyanna does her best to supress a giggle.

"Well, you keep saying you need reminders to eat healthy, right, Bels? Hey, how's about we grab a bite?"

* * *

When it comes to food, Kyanna gravitates to the spicy vendors. Knowing she has to keep up, Beli orders two of the red-hot, five-alarm chilli dogs with jalapeños and banana peppers. Kyanna is rightly skeptical.

"You sure, Bels? You had indigestion last month after the waitress cracked pepper into your pea soup."

"Oh, I can handle the heat," Beli declares, narrowing her eyes to add a sexy smoulder to her innuendo. Channeling her best impression of Jessie Maye with a Popsicle, Beli locks eyes with Kyanna as she chomps down on her dog.

Ten minutes later, Kyanna is still checking her phone at the washroom door, and Beli's still gulping down cold water from the sink.

"Guess we found something hotter than you, huh Bels?"

* * *

Beli needs Kyanna to enjoy herself; to howl with giddy laughter, but the only response that the food and games have mustered are pitying chuckles over her failures.

The carnival rides will settle the fate of their evening, and Beli has visions of slow romance: laughing gaily as they circle the carousel, watching the city lights from atop the Ferris wheel, hands interlaced as they share a seat.

But Kyanna has a different ride criteria: the wilder, the better! For her friend's sake, Beli cringes through a ride on the Gravitron; she endures a toss around the Tilt-o-Whirl but when Kyanna tugs them towards the park's rickety, wooden rollercoasters, Beli's knees buckle in protest.

"C'mon Bels. We gotta try that one!"

Kyanna points to a towering monstrosity, an accident-in-the-making that opens with a vertical plunge into three consecutive loop-de-loops. Beli swears she sees the tracks swaying in the wind.

"If you're nervous, Bels, you can snuggle with me in the line-up." Kyanna moves to lace their arms together again, but Beli steps away, determined to project confidence.

"N-no, I'm fine. Let's go."

She screams the whole ride through. Kyanna screams too, but it's joyous whooping. When they've returned to horizontal ground and the safety harnesses pop, Beli drops her head to her knees and shudders. The attendant warns her that she's holding up the next ride, Kyanna pats her on the shoulder and whispers her name, but she simply can't move. Her body refuses.

After two security guards carry her to the first-aid office, Kyanna makes a final, pitying appraisal of her date – quivering under a blanket like the scared little child she is – and the Latina decides it's time to be merciful.

"Hey, Bels, can we call it a night? I'm kinda worrying about Phily and I wanna check in on him."

Beli's entire body stiffens as though she's been shot.

It's over.

The air rushes from her lungs like a deflating balloon. Leave it to Kyanna to find that perfect, diplomatic phrasing, but it's over.

And Beli decides that if there's nothing more to lose, she may as well go out blazing.

"Can we get some ice cream on the way?"

"Ice -? Bels, aren't you on a diet? I mean, I think I saw one of those frogurt stands but -"

"Ice cream," Beli repeats firmly. "I just ... want some real ice cream." She hopes Kyanna can't hear her sniffling.

Catching on, Kyanna smiles softly. "Yeah, y'know what, I could totally go for something sweet."

* * *

The sitter is surprised to see them return so soon. "Girls' night finish early?" she asks.

"Meh, just wasn't feeling it," Kyanna shrugs, while Beli wilts further. Even a progressive university student can't picture them as anything but friends.

Maybe it's better that way?

Meanwhile, Kyanna asks after Phily, currently kicking and squirming in Tiffany's arms and threatening to send the whole hallway banging against their shared drywall. "I tried putting him to sleep, but the little guy just wouldn't settle. Guess he wound himself up worrying about his _madr_ _é_."

"You did your best," Kyanna assures her, and she tips the girl generously. "We'll take it from here."

Beli's heart jumps again as Kyanna takes her arm a third time. She thought it only proper to see Kyanna all the way back to her door, but now she's being guided into the apartment as Tiffany is being shooed out. Hands full with an upset baby, Kyanna closes the door with her heel. She turns to Beli, and her eyes blaze with playful business.

"Okay, Bels. You ready to tire out my little _conejito_?"

"Born ready," Beli nods, fired up with her own second wind. She knows her place now. Maybe she can't moonlight the role of a dream date, but the supportive best friend is the role she was born to play, and she's prepared to throw her heart into it!

Curling up on the carpet, they work as a team to entertain Phily: peekaboo and catch-catch with his favorite ball and bouncing him on bended knee until his squeals erupt more softly, and his face begins to stretch in tired yawns. In the end, it's story time as told by Auntie Beli that finally sends Kyanna's boy off to nappy land, and Beli feels a notch of pride at the _coup de grace_ she's delivered. Kyanna even lets _her_ lay Phily down in his bedroom crib so she can skedaddle to the kitchen and nuke them some hot pockets.

Draining a toddler's batteries is hungry work after all.

With the hard labor finished, they sit together on Kyanna's couch - microwavable crumbs in their laps and grease on their fingers as they huddle around the glow from Beli's smart phone. Kyanna shows her how to piggyback on the neighbour's unprotected Wi-Fi, and she introduces her friend to the best of Bollywood as featured on Netflix.

The laughter Beli stressed after and sought so desperately now flows as freely as the convenience mart wine Kyanna's uncorked.

"Omigod, why do they keep singing and dancing out of the blue like that?"

"It's … I don't know, it's a genre thing. Like Western musicals."

"Yeah, but in a spy thriller or a murder mystery?" Kyanna does her best to muffle her laughs, but they just keep coming.

"Shh, you'll wake Phily," Beli scolds. Worried for the boy, she goes around switching off the lights until only the thinnest flame from the corner lamp remains. Kyanna hums with intrigue at this mood lighting.

"How're my clothes treating you?" she asks.

" _Much_ better," Beli sighs. During the car ride back she released an ice cream-fueled rant about her ill-fitting jeans and heels. In response, Kyanna's loaned her a pair of gray sweatpants and a zip-up hoodie. It's a little snug around the chest, but not unbearably so like those god-awful "high fashion" items. Some unidentified stains splatter the knees, and she looks ready to spend the weekend cleaning apartment, but Beli's not worrying herself over presentation anymore. She's back in the "friend zone", and there's no need to impress anyone.

Kyanna studies her thoughtfully as she sips her wine. "Well _I_ like it. You should wear my clothes more often."

"I think we'd have some size differences," Beli points out. "I'm 5'9". My tops would be a little long and loose on you."

Kyanna grins. "Maybe I need something long and loose to keep me warm in bed. Hmm?"

They chuckle, but below the surface, Kyanna's teasing strikes hard and she feels it again – that nagging guilt, the terrible feeling that she's let down her friend.

"Kyanna… I'm sorry. I know you wanted an exciting night and I just couldn't keep up. I'm sorry."

Kyanna irritation doesn't surprise her but the subject of her ire does.

"Beli, you've gotta start speaking up for yourself! I mean, I get that it's your first time out with a woman and you wanna make things perfect, but going on a date's all about trying stuff we'll both enjoy. _Yeah,_ I like roller coasters and fast rides but I wanna make sure you're having a good time too. You probably wanted to try the Ferris wheel or something."

Beli gives a guilty nod. Point proven, Kyanna drains her wine and hammers the glass on the table.

"I just … _rrgh_ , it makes _me_ feel bad when I see you dressing up or doing stuff because you think I'll like it. Like I'm forcing you into something.

"Still," she continues, "kinda my fault too. I thought if I got you all flustered over some crazy rides I could get you cuddling up nice and close." She throws an arm around Beli's shoulder in demonstration. "But you had to be the Beli the Brave and tough it out."

Beli wriggles out from Kyanna's mock-embrace, frowning. "I thought you were making fun of me; trying to show me that I couldn't keep up!"

"I know, and I feel like shit, Bels. I went and picked this outfit from our very first 'friend' date, and you were so jittery you didn't even notice."

"Wait, you wore that –"

"I thought it'd be special; you know, a second 'first time out'."

Beli's mind replays their events. "So the carnival games -"

"I was trying to figure out which plushy _you_ liked; didn't expect you'd go all white knight and empty your purse tryin' to win _me_ one."

It's all making sense now. "Then the chili dogs –"

"No, I just like spicy food."

"Oh."

"Sorry, but you walked yourself into that one, chica. Nothin' saying we both have to order from the same stall, right?"

"Yes, that's true."

Sensing her deflation, Kyanna pushes forward.

"Bels, I'm not mad at you, okay? Tonight I got to go out with a super-sweet girl who did everything she could to show me a good time. And you know what the best part was? I brought her home, she hung out with my son, and she didn't think any less of me because I'm twenty-one and a mom."

"Philip's a beautiful boy, Kyanna, and you're a wonderful mother." She doesn't think there's anything wrong or bizarre about those facts, but Kyanna's eyes fall away.

"Not everyone's ready to stick with me and find that out. That's why you're so important to me, Bels. I can take you out for a crazy night, but I can take you home too, and I know you're not gonna freak that I've got a kid. To me, _that's_ pretty damn exciting."

Kyanna closes the distance between them again. She places her palm on Beli's knee, and she bundles the fabric in a fist as she fights to find her words.

"I guess what I'm saying is –" Words fail, so Kyanna leans forward and pecks her quickly on the cheek. " _Gracias._ It was a little rocky, but I really had fun tonight."

Beli doesn't know what to say, she's still reeling from the quick, electric impact on her skin. "Y-you're welcome," she stammers. "It was a neat experiment."

"Experiment? Bels, you're talking like the date's long over."

"But, I mean, isn't it?" Beli rasps that out; her throat is suddenly parched.

"Not by my count."

Beli swallows tightly as Kyanna's arm slides back around her shoulder, drawing her far closer than a friend would ever dare.

The first kiss is soft and testing, a quick peck on the lips – over in an instant, but it sends Beli tingling all over, bathing her in the warmth of sunrise.

They pause, breathe and - sensing no objections - Kyanna presses in again, touching their lips together a second time, then a third. Beli parts in a gasp and Kyanna's tongue runs around her open lips before diving in for a long and satisfying meeting of mouths.

They pull apart with a satisfied sigh. Kyanna's heavy eyes search her own for approval.

"That was … different," Beli gulps. Softer, smoother. No less aggressive then the men she's kissed, but gentler, more attentive. This wasn't a kiss to steal or horde pleasure; this was a kiss in offering.

"Different good?" Kyanna checks.

"Different very good," Beli nods back, and that's all Kyanna needs to hear before she leans in for more.

They add their hands to the mix this time, fingers slowly exploring the lengths of each other's arms as their mouths and tongues greet. Every soft smack of their lips makes Beli's heart flicker like a lighter, sparking a tiny flame in her chest. The heat snaps up for only an instant, but Beli instinctively craves its warmth, and she presses in closer, tighter. Kyanna scoots forward, sitting herself atop Beli's lap with a hungry smile.

"Mm, you're a helluva kisser, _belleza_. Sure you haven't tried this with another girl before?"

"Just guys," Beli pants back, "and they weren't anywhere as good as you."

The kisses come faster, heavier; a frantic energy pushes them onward like they're standing on tip-toe, straining to catch a glimpse of the sun through a too-high window. _Just a little more_ , Beli thinks, _just a little further_ \- until they're both kneeling on the couch, arms tangled around each other's back and in each other's hair, desperately searching each other for a faster way to stoke the fire burning between them.

Kyanna's hands circle from her back to her chest, hunting wildly for the zipper to Beli's top. Feverish with heat, Beli allows her to wander; tips her head back and enjoys the wandering. _Just a little further, just a little –_

In the bedroom, Philip's sneeze bursts like a gunshot. Both of them freeze on the spot.

Reality slowly filters into Beli's fogged-up brain. She gets a close-up of Kyanna's tangled hair, recognizes her own hands burrowed shamelessly in those ebony fields. Heavy breathing assaults her ears and it's her own lewd panting. Kyanna has the look of a child caught in the cookie jar. Her hands still hold fast to Beli's half-opened zipper.

Beli pulls away reflexively, stunned and speechless at her loss of control.

They both listen for a breathless moment.

"I think he's back asleep. We're probably okay," Kyanna decides. A hungry light returns to her eye as she shimmies forward but Beli backs away, unnerved by her friend's sudden, intense desire. The Latina winces.

"Sorry. Guess that was a little fast for a first date. Shit, you probably make guys wait a whole month before they even get a kiss."

 _Not necessarily,_ Beli thinks.

"I've … moved pretty quickly before," she admits. "It's just … it's never lasted long after we've been … intimate."

"Oh."

"Mmh."

They sit in the dim light, catching their breath and smoothing their hair. When Kyanna approaches again, Beli watches cautiously, but instead of pawing and groping, her friend's arms encircle her, hug her carefully.

"We can stop here if you want. Just cuddle 'n stuff. Doesn't have to be all rollercoasters."

Kyanna's on her best behavior but Beli feels the warm hands circling over her back, searching for any remaining embers that might re-ignite her flame. Kyanna's nose rubs over her cheek; her lips kiss lightly down her exposed throat. There's a worry, a nervous plea to the Latina's careful touches, like she's terrified of losing everything in a single blunder.

It's a feeling Beli knows intimately.

Beli breathes deeply, then she extracts herself from Kyanna's embrace. It's a struggle simply to breathe, to stand up, but she forces her trembling hands to her collar, tugging her zipper to her navel and shrugging her hoodie to the floor.

"I want this," she whispers. Her hands work quickly while she still has the nerve, stripping off her sweatpants. In the dim light, her white undergarments glow softly. "I want you."

Kyanna is transfixed. "Beli Lapran, are you wearing a thong? In a butterfly design?"

Beli glances down at the sparkling white wings spreading from between her legs. "…Yes?"

"Rawr! And here I thought lingerie shopping freaked you out." The Latina growls softly as she peels off her own shirt and shucks it to the floor. Beli does her best not to stammer at the black and lacy bra.

"Oh, I mean I didn't buy it new. It's an old thing. I mean, there's online shops and well … their packaging's … discreet?" She tries to compose herself but Kyanna's standing up and slowly unzipping her skirt. "I buy myself something every once in a while. As a treat."

"And you've been keeping this goodie drawer all to yourself?" Kyanna teases. Her loose skirt drops to her ankles.

"I don't want people thinking I'm … that way. And it's fun, having a secret. Something just for you and … those that mean a lot to you."

She folds her arms and looks away. Kyanna is speechless.

"Holy … Bels, you're making me blush here."

Newly humbled, they both hesitate a moment. Beli realizes it's nothing she hasn't seen before, that Kyanna's flaunted bikinis just as revealing, but this - soft, black silk embroidered with white lace, the thinnest of straps running along her thighs - this is sacred. A sight deemed only for her eyes.

Kyanna takes her into her arms, kisses her softly on the mouth. "I wanna share everything I've got with you, _belleza_. I wanna make you feel so good. Let me?"

Beli's breath shudders through her lips, floored by this most intimate offer. "I..." Words fail her, so she simply deepens their kiss. She opens her palms in offering, and Kyanna interlaces their fingers. Her friend guides her back to the couch.

"Show me," Beli whispers.

Kyanna leans back on the cushions, guiding Beli to straddle her hips. "Sit up, Bels. I wanna take a good look at you." Kyanna's hands cup her cheeks, and her friend simply holds her a moment, just looking and admiring.

Being on top, sitting in the lap of another woman - it's all so new and nerve-wracking, but beneath her worries Beli feels her chest thrumming with nervous energy. Kyanna's hips are a sacred altar and she is the goddess placed high on a pedestal. She's always been a means to an end, a pathway for another's pleasure but tonight Kyanna intends her to be worshiped and adored. Every touch is for her satisfaction alone.

Kyanna's breathing comes faster, growls harder as her eyes take in their fill. "I wanna touch you, Bels. I wanna kiss you, hold you, and feel you up all over that gorgeous body. But you gotta work with me. So whenever I do something you like, you say 'yes'. Kay?"

"Yes," she repeats. It's not a confirmation, just a release of need, but it's all the same to Kyanna. The Latina shudders in anticipation as she sets her hands in motion.

Beli closes her eyes and enjoys the cool caress on her neck, the fingertips gliding over her shoulders. "Yes."

Kyanna's hands travel down her arms, taking her bra straps with them. A detour to her back, a tug to unclip, and Beli groans in release as her undergarments fall from her chest. "Yes…"

Kyanna cups her swollen breasts, thumbs circling over her tender nipples. "Yes … anh- yes…"

The pleasure is excruciating, but Kyanna's only just getting started. Hands caress their way down Beli's core, circling her hips. "Yes…" Moving as if under a spell, Beli's pelvis begin to rock. Kyanna's set a tempo and her body obeys - swaying and thrusting with the carnal dance. "Oh yes!"

Beli burns under the skillful touch until even the barest of undergarments she has left feel hot and unbearable. When Kyanna's hands reach around her elastic ties, when her fingers artfully pluck the hidden clips and cast her butterfly to the carpet, her lungs heave in release.

"Y-yes! Yes!"

One hand holds her in place at the hip, while the Latina's other hand retraces its journey up her body and to her mouth. Beli doesn't think, she just takes Kyanna's two fingers inside her. Her head bobs to the rhythm of her aching hips.

 _Yes. Yes…_

When Kyanna's satisfied, she pulls her fingers back and traces them down Beli's chest. "Oh yes!" The wet tips feel so cool and soothing against her burning stomach, but Kyanna trails further still until her wetness finds Beli's own.

Kyanna squeezes her hip firmly. "You ready for me?"

Heat is steaming up all over her body, overwhelming her senses. Beli senses herself back on that rollercoaster, on the precipice of a great fall. She feels the urge to clench her eyes, to bury her face in shame.

Instead, she opens her eyes wide, rests her hands on Kyanna, her altar. She's ready to fall, ready to entrust herself; to know that Kyanna will catch her without fail.

"Ready?" Kyanna repeats.

"Anh yes. Yes. _Yes!_ " It's not a confirmation, it's a plea, and when Kyanna's hand complies, Beli throws her head back and she soars.

* * *

Sweaty and exhausted, Beli watches Kyanna from underneath the cool sheets adorning the Latina's bed. The single mother pads across the bedroom floor, casually naked as she rocks and soothes Philip, head squirming atop her bare breast.

In the end, it wasn't her moaning and howling that woke Phily, but the chorus of sleep-deprived neighbours banging on the apartment walls. Kyanna endured the intrusion at first, far more interested in prolonging her lover's ecstasy, but then Philip really started wailing and her mommy instincts kicked in.

Beli remembers her undignified squeak as a pissed-off Kyanna dragged her by the arm into the bedroom, her blind panic that she was going to be tossed out.

The Latina simply stripped herself bare, deposited a quick kiss on her lips – "gimmie a sec," she winked – then Beli found herself laid across the bed for safekeeping while Kyanna tended to her howling babe.

 _Lying here in bed … it's strange,_ Beli reflects as she rubs her legs along Kyanna's silky sheets. The same sheets that embrace Kyanna's naked body every night. She's been shooed out of bed after the deed was done - roommates on the way back, so they said - and she's limped away wincing with her clothes in a bundle. To each short-lived relationship there's remained a shameful constant, a feeling of being used and discarded.

But being invited back to bed? Welcomed into another's chamber for no other reason than to lay down her head and rest? It's as unfamiliar as another woman's touch, and just as wonderful. A blush steals over Beli's face as she takes the bedsheets to her face and breathes in Kyanna's scent.

Oh, how she could get used to this.

"Shh," Kyanna whispers to her boy, " _dulces sueños, mi_ _conejito_."

Kyanna's back is turned to her, and Beli's eyes flash guiltily from her friend's buttocks to the child's head across her shoulder. Seeing Phily rest so easily … a pang of worry sets in. She's an interloper on this family.

She has to know.

"Um, Kyanna, what're you doing next Friday?"

Kyanna doesn't reply right away, and Beli can't tell if she's being made to sweat it out, or if the Latina is just being cautious as she lays her child back in his crib.

Kyanna turns to her, ebony locks framing her full-bodied breasts, and she saunters to the foot of the bed, enjoying the nervous stammer her approach elicits. Then she takes a flying leap onto the bed, worming under the covers. Arms wrap around Beli's shoulders, legs entangle with her own, and a happy face nuzzles into her breast.

"Next Friday? No plans."

Beli swallows carefully, trying not to lose herself in the kisses Kyanna is dotting along her collar. "And the Friday after that?"

"Mmh. No plans." Kyanna's lips nibble a line down her breast, and Beli has to clench her teeth to reply.

"And the Friday after that Friday?" Kyanna finally lifts her head and grins.

"Bels, I've got three things in mind for my Fridays. Number one," a kiss, "taking you out on the town for some fun. Number two," a nip, "taking you to bed and snuggling your brains out. Number three," a flirty grope, "waking up next to your sexy, naked bod and making breakfast for my boy and my _belleza_."

Kyanna lays overtop her chest and flashes a smile.

"I've got nothing planned, Bels. I'm all yours."

And Beli throws her arms around Kyanna's neck and holds her dearly, doing her best not to sob like a fool. "I have a girlfriend," she laughs. "What am I going to tell my mom?"

"Tell her if she sets you up on another blind date, he's buying dinner for three," Kyanna growls.

They laugh and embrace each other, kissing quickly and throwing glances crib-side to make sure Philip's not stirring. A thrilling rush swells up in Beli's heart, like she's a bird soaring through stormy skies – out of her element but absolutely safe, secure in the knowledge that Kyanna is by her side, holding her steady. With joyous tears in her eyes, she tightens her grip as though she could hold this woman – and this moment – forever.

"Now then," Kyanna purrs as she slithers down beneath the covers, "where were we, Miss Lapran?"

Beli tilts her head and gasps, but she doesn't dare close her eyes. She doesn't dare let a single moment, pass her by. She wants to drink in every beautiful eternity she spends with Kyanna Delrio, knowing their pleasures will only grow with every moment spent together.

And as delicious and dangerous as Kyanna is making her feel right now, her heart is already longing for the rush of their next Friday night to arrive.

 _ **Fin**_


End file.
